After trying a few times to say something, he leaps off the stage and walks away into the depths of the warehouse. He tries to deflect all of the roasts, but just doesn't have the confidence and self-esteem that he usually does. Now, Michael seems downright ashamed, and steps onstage. Stanley tried to die just to get away, well it's true- That's what I hate about you!" You're the losiest, jerkiest, and you're dumber than applesauce! Michael does the drum thing again, but it seems more sad than comical.Īndy is strumming his guitar to the tune of "What I like about you," But changes the lyrics to this: Michael clearly has no clue, and Darryl is forced to reveal the answer. So um, who's that guy in the back?" He gestures to a warehouse worker. "We are, we are," Michael agrees quickly. Something about how much they love them, so just keep that in mind!"ĭarryl starts with, "Mike claims that we're all a family-"
BOOM ROASTED THE OFFICE SCRIPT PROFESSIONAL
"And one time, I saw him naked, and his thing is so small." Pam trots off the stage, when Kevin asks, "How small is it?" To a reply of, "If it was an iPOD, it would be a shuffle."Īs everyone OHHs dramatically, Michael stands up and, clearly unnerved, says, "In a professional roast, the roaster says something nice about the roastee when they're done. More laughter, but only from Dwight, though, who is holding down the fort well. Through the laughter, Michael tries to say something stern, but Pam keeps on plowing through. That man is Michael Scott, he's supporting about 20 Nigerian Princesses." Every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam. "I have something very serious to say here. "Are you calling me an idiot? Don't you ever talk to me that way, you pathetic, short little man, you don't even have any friends, any family, or any land!" Dwight leaves the stage, leaving Michael looking like he just realized something. At this point, Dwight stops and looks at Michael incredulously. Michael frantically tries to stop Dwight, and after being drowned out for a few seconds, starts to say, "Idiot, idiot, idiot!" Over and over again. "How dare you all attack him like this? Michael is your superior! You should be bowing down to him!" This leads to jeering from the crowd, and Michael looks a bit ashamed.Īt this point, Dwight has enough and gets onstage. Remember Spiderface? Well, the quote was 'Cut off your nose to Spite Your Face." "Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary. Toby starts to totter towards the stage, but Michael won't stand for it, screaming, "Friends only, friends only!" Toby stops for a second, considering if he should press on, but then he returns to his seat. "You give me an ulcer every time I wake up and I have to come to work. Thanks to a translator, here's what he said. Oscar starts to shout at Michael in Spanish. Michael playfully pretend-shoots her, but isn't exactly laughing.
Michael starts to interrupt, but Meredith presses on. "You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said "Gross." Michael bangs on his drumset comically but not with extreme pizazz. "Michael, you ran over me with your car-" Meredith does a more straightforward roasting than the previous roasters and starts right away with addressing him. Michael's smile seems to be a bit less genuine this time around as Kelly ends her roasting period with "Anyway, happy birthday, Michael!" Kelly comes onstage with a note card and starts to rattle off names of people she would rather kiss than Michael Scott. Michael and the crowd are whooping with laughter, and the screen cuts out to the next roaster. "If you ever called the fire department because your head is stuck in your chair, you might be Michael Scott!" "If you have put sunblock on a window, then you might be Michael Scott!" She starts off with lowering the mic, and then starts on a repetitive roasting spree with the punch line: "You might be Michael Scott!" These jokes consist of. Angela is up first, and it's a surprise- Angela usually doesn't enjoy making others laugh, as she says in a talkin head.
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